AILSA CHANG, HOST:
If you're someone who grew up in the 1990s, it would have been pretty hard to escape this voice.
JALEEL WHITE: (As Steve Urkel) Did I do that?
(LAUGHTER)
CHANG: Steve Urkel - who doesn't know this name? Who doesn't know that look? - you know, those big glasses, those jeans that were hiked up too high and too tight. And, of course, don't forget those puppy-dog eyes always locked on his neighbor, Laura Winslow.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "FAMILY MATTERS")
KELLIE SHANYGNE WILLIAMS-JACKSON: (As Laura Winslow) I'm going to tell you what I really think of you.
WHITE: (As Steve Urkel) Oh. I'm a nerdy, annoying dweeb, right?
WILLIAMS-JACKSON: (As Laura Winslow) Right. And I'm very lucky to have you as a friend.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: Aw.
CHANG: Well, the man who grew up as Steve Urkel is Jaleel White. He's out with a new memoir about those years on the sitcom "Family Matters." It's called "Growing Up Urkel." Jaleel White stopped by our studio at NPR West to talk about the book and how that role both catapulted and caged him and how it almost didn't happen. You see, he'd been acting since the age of 3. And by age 12, he'd already gotten kind of tired of the roles out there for him.
WHITE: Roles for Black kids back then were very stereotypical. You either played the kid who stole something and got caught, you played a street kid, a bully, or you got a chance to play the best friend.
CHANG: But once his dad convinced him to go for the role of Steve Urkel, he really went for it. His mom told him to dress the part at the audition, with those signature jeans that were too tight and a pair of his dad's glasses that were too big.
WHITE: I wanted the glasses with the tape in the middle - like, the classic...
CHANG: Right.
WHITE: ..."Revenge Of The Nerds" glasses.
CHANG: Right. But that's too cliche. Come on.
WHITE: But that's what I wanted.
CHANG: (Laughter).
WHITE: So I'm trying to actually show people how accidents create, you know, iconography.
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: And I went in there, and I actually made the conscious decision - at age 12. I remember. I didn't want them to meet Jaleel. I wanted them to just - I just walked in, and I just...
CHANG: You were Urkel.
WHITE: I just introduced myself in the second audition as Steve.
CHANG: So I didn't realize Steve Urkel was only supposed to be a character for one episode...
WHITE: Yep.
CHANG: ...Right? But he became, arguably, the star of the whole show, like, right up until the very end. And I'm just curious what you think. What was it about Urkel - this dorky, socially inept nerd - that drew people in so powerfully, you think?
WHITE: I mean, by today's standards, he would just be considered a stalker.
CHANG: (Laughter).
WHITE: But by '90s values...
CHANG: A very loveable stalker.
WHITE: Right? But by '90s values, he was well-intentioned. He was awkward, but reassured. And so his love for Laura, his smarts and his acceptance of himself - I had no concept at the time - were very, very relatable qualities that I think a lot of people latched on to.
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: And then just some good, old-fashioned comic timing.
CHANG: But, you know, you also talk about in this book how Urkel subverted stereotypes about Black boys.
WHITE: You know, there was no archetype for my character. That's what I'm proud of, though. Anybody that was a part of that generation, and you were a kid - you were a minor on TV, you were probably the son or the daughter of, right? So I defied that. I was the neighbor. And typically, a neighbor was going to be an adult. And it was a Black kid.
And the irony of the character was our entire writers' room was white. Nobody thought, well, we need to put some Black folks in charge of this. So I've even seen criticisms online, like, you know, on Twitter and whatnot, you know, that - where it said, you know, I never thought Carl was a believable Black cop. And it's like, well, maybe that's because he was a Black cop that was written by white writers.
CHANG: But I want to ask you because, you know, when you were a college student at UCLA, you had this teaching assistant in a class called The History of Broadcast TV in America. And in this class one day, you hear the teaching assistant talk about the character Steve Urkel as being a, quote, "Sambo" - a character that was meant to cater specifically to white audiences. If you had a chance to go back to that moment, would you have dealt with it differently? Would you have raised your hand...
WHITE: (Laughter).
CHANG: ...And interjected something?
WHITE: Oh. Whoo. You touched a nerve with that question. I actually do regret not raising my hand.
CHANG: What did it feel like to be sitting there being called Sambo?
WHITE: Oh, it was humiliating. It was absolutely humiliating. You know, we can all go back and play woulda, coulda, shoulda (ph). I do wish I had stood up for myself enough to say, please stop. You don't know much about television production. It's unfortunate for these kids who've paid to hear expertise, and you're not offering expertise...
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: ...At least as it pertains to me.
CHANG: Yeah. Oof. It felt, though, at times, especially now after reading your book, that your character can find you, right? Like, there were moments where, yes, you could break free of Steve Urkel...
WHITE: Mmm hmm - moments - yeah.
CHANG: ...And transform into this alter ego, Stefan Urquelle, who was this cool, suave, ladies man...
WHITE: And I could play basketball, and I could do all types of different things like that. Yep.
CHANG: Right.
WHITE: There were moments.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "FAMILY MATTERS")
WILLIAMS-JACKSON: (As Laura Winslow) Steve?
WHITE: (As Stefan Urquelle) Steve who?
WILLIAMS-JACKSON: (As Laura Winslow) Steve Urkel. You.
WHITE: (As Stefan Urquelle) No, no, no, no, no. I'm Stefan, sweet thing.
(LAUGHTER)
CHANG: You wrote Stefan saved what my people thought of me as a person. Did freezing into place for the role of Urkel affect how you saw your own masculinity sometimes?
WHITE: One hundred percent in college.
CHANG: And I want to talk about how that affected your dating life - how you compare yourself - or you did - with your co-star Darius McCrary...
WHITE: (Laughter).
CHANG: ...Who played Eddie Winslow. And the way you wrote about it, it seemed like you thought he was definitely smoother with the ladies when you were both teenagers because he seemed to understand something very important - that part of dating in the industry is to entertain women's expectations that you help them in that industry. So let me ask you now, decades later - do you wish you were more transactional about dating, looking back? Because I couldn't tell, to be honest, reading that chapter.
WHITE: So that's awesome. I love what you gleaned from the chapter. I do not wish that I had been more transactional because I think it would have taken my character to a place that it didn't need to go.
CHANG: Your character - like your moral character?
WHITE: My moral...
CHANG: Not your on-script...
WHITE: Yes. It...
CHANG: ...character.
WHITE: And you caught that. Exactly.
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: It would have taken my moral character to know that. I operated with an incredible degree of naivete that ultimately saved my a**.
CHANG: So when you look back, you're actually glad that you were a bit innocent and naive.
WHITE: Oh, yes. I firmly subscribe to rejection being God's protection.
CHANG: Can I ask you - cause you titled this memoir, "Growing Up Urkel"...
WHITE: Yeah.
CHANG: ...Do you feel people have let you grow past Urkel...
WHITE: Oh, yeah.
CHANG: ...By now?
WHITE: Oh, yeah.
CHANG: Or is Urkel kind of an identity you never really get to leave behind?
WHITE: The thing I love to educate people about is each generation receives me for something different. I've really learned that it's always been about how I make you feel. It's never been about me. So when somebody comes up to me and says, this is how I feel about you, I accept that. That's cool. But, you know, thank you so much. There's some other people in the line.
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: And they want to talk to me about something different.
CHANG: Yeah.
WHITE: And I just take - I try to take it all with grace.
CHANG: Jaleel White - his new memoir is called "Growing Up Urkel." Thank you so much, Jaleel, for visiting NPR West today in person. It was so much fun to talk to you.
WHITE: Thank you. You're awesome. I can't - again, I'm still thumbing through all these pages that you outlined in my book.
CHANG: That's right. I take notes, Jaleel (laughter).
WHITE: I feel like I'm an author. I love that.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "AS DAYS GO BY")
JESSE FREDERICK: (Singing) Well, then, there must be some magic clue inside this gentle walls. 'Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every seam. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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